Hope for the hopeless after all?

Rewind Button

Yesterday, my heart was pounding with anticipation.  When would I see her?  Would it be days or maybe a week?  I didn't know...but surely I could wait that long???  Couldn't I?  A dilemma that I felt was manageable. She would be coming home. When, didn't matter.  She would be in my arms and I wouldn't let her go once she was there. That was yesterday.  Today my heart died. Today I lost a big piece of it. Today my heart flatlined. She's not coming home.  Really, why would she?  I've caused so much pain it's just too much for any one individual to make it through.  So today...she's gone.  It's just a matter of time that she finds her way and remembers me only as a very bad dream she once had. I know there is love waiting for her now...just a matter of her walking through an already open door.  As my growing sadness intensifies I think, wouldn't it be great if I could get a hold of a rewind button?  But as I sit here I realize that I would need to hit that button over and over...and even then...would there be a time she loved me...had hope in me...in us?  When was that time?  That's the thing...there is no rewind button.  There is only one's past.  No one ever forgets.  We are the sum of our experiences.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  My pain is real.  Today is not. I've lost her all over again.  I've lost her forever.  I've lost her for good.  I wish I had a rewind button.  I would probably rewind so far back to my childhood...start a new and maybe grow into a person with fewer hangups, issues, problems.  Would that button have helped us?  I'll never know.  It doesn't exist.

Her name is grace.  She was able to briefly lead me from darkness and show me some light. I will love her until the end of time for that. 

Flatline

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Countdown to Zero

5 out of 5

This is a must see documentary.  Watch it!

Useless Information

Today is all about football.  Of course I'm an avid fan of the NFL and my Seattle Seahawks but even "I" will be checking in to see if the Roughriders can right their wrong in last year's Grey Cup.  It should be a great battle...or at least...one can hope. *s*  I'm On Call this weekend so I'm counting on everyone else watching football and NOT calling because they are unable to connect to work via their VPN.  *fingers crossed* 

Movies

I watched a couple movies yesterday.  One not so bad...one not so good but I expected it with the title Moby Dick!  Buried was pretty suspenseful if you're into that kind of movie.

3 out of 5

1 out of 5

I just died.

Black Friday

Yes it is Black Friday.

Broken

Pearls before Swine

This is a gooder!!!

Monsters

I have to say this movie was nothing what I had anticipated. Basically a human story on the shirt tails of some aliens. I found it pretty slow and some of the scenes dragged on more than they should have in my opinion. Cinematography in certain places was striking though. 

Cute Movie - The First Men on the Moon

Worth a watch in my opinion...probably. *s*

Legion

Watched Legion this afternoon.  Meh.  I liked Resident Evil alot more.  Squeegy had no interest whatsoever in it either...but it was close to her feeding time.  She has a one track mind during that time.  No movie would hold her interest. *s*

New movie??? Cowboys and Aliens

Looks...um...I dunno???

Resident Evil: Afterlife

Finally watched this movie.  I enjoyed it.  Mindless entertainment.  I liked the big zombie dude. Walk softly and carry a big stick.  Funny thing...Squeegy my cat was quite captivated by this movie.  She watched practically the whole thing and I'm not exaggerating!  Guess she's a fan of zombies and special effects. *s*

Planet of the Apes

Over the past couple of weeks I have watched the old Planet of the Apes movies that first came out in 1968. The fifth and final chapter came out in 1973. I tell ya...it was good times. Don't kid yourself! I hardly remember anything from the last four but did remember the first movie. Not sure why that was. Those oldies are always good for a chuckle and well worth a second look.  Now maybe I should watch the 2001 version. 

Pooh!

Aww...who doesn't love this cast of misfits? Love the trailer. Classic Pooh.

Lest "I" Forget.

Exhausted

It's been the longest week.

I am not powerful. This song is powerful. I am not strong. This song has strength. I am sad. I find this song tragic.